Adult Film Starlet and Duke University freshman Belle Knox recently appeared on “Piers Morgan Live” to discuss her being “outed” as in porn films. Belle defends her job choice and fails to see the big deal. She is absolutely right in her position and here’s why:
1. Belle is employed in a perfectly legal profession. That she’s nude and engaging in sex acts should not make a difference.
2. She provides entertainment consumed by millions of people. For anyone who watches adult videos to judge her is sheer hypocrisy.
3. Duke University is not only an accomplishment, it is also very expensive. Tuition is over $50k a year and will provide Belle a top notch education.
4. That a young woman chose not to rely on social services or to live a life of crime, but instead become a productive tax paying member of society is a good thing for our economy.
5. To Adult film industry is a multimillion dollar business fueled by consumer desire for young attractive women. If Belle is enterprising enough to make use of these facts and attractive enough to qualify for such work she should congratulated, not forced to accept the proverbial scarlet letter.
It’s time for America to end this love/hate hypocrisy with the adult film industry and stop trying to shame adult film workers.
In doing research for my radio show, I recently watched “After Porn Ends” and I felt a combination of defensiveness and sympathy. The former, because of the hypocrisy of people in this country, turning their nose up and shaming the performers who provide them honest adult entertainment. The latter, because as was stated several times throughout the film, some things just cannot be undone. Once an image is committed to film it cannot be unwatched. Once an adult performer achieves stardom, that level of fame cannot be reversed. And once someone consumes a video, the image is hard to un-see, especially if you wanked off to it with any regularity.
The real problem of course is not with performers or with porn itself, but with people’s unhealthy attitude towards the performers and perhaps the industry.
When a person decides to out a performer who has moved on, why aren’t they scrutinized about their viewing habits for example? No one ever raises an eyebrow at the outer and ask,”You watch pornographic movies? And you feel comfortable telling me this, because…?”
And why does this person feel the need to punish the performer, rewarding her years of entertaining him with negative judgement? As if she’s not worthy of re-entering a clothed society, or as if he won’t be responsible for his reaction to her in a non-pornographic setting.
Women aren’t off the hook in this either. Instead of supporting a woman who’s come from a sex background, she’s feeling threatened and thinking of ways to eliminate this perceived sexual competition. With such divisive thinking, is it any wonder why some women are left with no options but to return to porn? It’s disappointing how childish people are about sex and disheartening that they’d project their dysfunction onto former adult performers to the point of keeping them out of society wherever possible.
Of course, I’m not referring to all people who watch porn. By and large performers of color and fetish performers don’t suffer from this hypocrisy. Most people of color don’t harbor that sense of entitlement that would cause them to damage a former performer’s attempts to transition to and lead a fully clothed life. Also, I find that people who are into fetish (or ethnic) content are a combination of mature enough to separate fantasy from reality and scared shitless of outing themselves as consumers of deviant adult material. In other words, these two groups have lives to live.
I’m referring to the hypocrites that watch porn videos (obviously regularly enough to recognize the talent) fantasize about the stars; go to conventions to meet them, or the strip clubs where they feature to buy a dance with them. Maybe even offer them money for an encounter. Then, years later, instead of keeping it to themselves they feel compelled to denigrate her to others in an attempt to shame her to a person or group, never once acknowledging their status as a avid consumer of said pex-performer’s work. Why is it so difficult for these people to leave and let live, if for no other reason than out of appreciation for the happy moments of escape from reality this performer allowed you? Are they so different from Hollywood actors in that respect?
Take the Netherlands for example; their attitude towards sex workers is they do a job like anyone else. They are not ostracized from society because of what they do and I’m pretty sure they’re not shamed and fired when they move on to some other employment. There is even a statue in town that clearly states “Respect Sex Workers.”
At the end of the film, a few of the women went back into porn performance for various reasons. I read in an article, prior to watching the movie, that this happens to many ex performers who just couldn’t or wouldn’t be allowed to re-enter clothed society.
Some people just need to grow the hell up. If you’re old enough to watch porn and be entertained by it, surely you have it in you somewhere to leave it at that and allow women who choose to move on to do so without persecution.
(If you noticed I left the men out of this it’s because, as usual, men are not affected by this double standard. Look at Ron Jeremy’s success after his career as a performer ended.)
I was thinking about a show I recently did and I’ve come to look at sex in a slightly different light. I still think the pussy should be judiciously and selectively shared with worthy partners. But now I want to include that friendship is the best scenario for having satisfying, positive casual sex.
For one thing, a friend will care whether you have an orgasm or not. There’s no such thing as the ‘walk of shame’ or rolling over to an empty pillow with a friend because you can crash at his place or he can crash at yours. Another great thing is your risk for STD decreases because you’ll be more confident insisting he wear a condom and more easy to have an honest chat about sexual history. Or you’d probably have an idea because, well, he’s your friend.
There are friends who are good for just sex and there are friends you can potentially couple up with. With a friend, you’ll be able to better determine that without the awkward misunderstanding. If you sleep with a stranger and you want more than just that isolated act however, you will never know what he is until it’s too late. You may get lucky and wind up with a decent guy, or you could wind up with some jerk who only really wanted to splash off in you because he could, which will be bad for your self-esteem. If you specifically want to be used (or tell yourself you’re using him) then I guess it doesn’t matter one way or the other.
Bottom line is you should really consider having sex with someone you consider a good friend, if you have casual sex. It will make you feel better about yourself and your sexual confidence will thank you for years to come.
Please send me your stories and questions about your experience with/opinion of fetish dating sites. Do they work? Have you ever made a connection? What about catfishing? Any major disappointments?
I’m dying to know and would love to read them on-air during “Kinky News & Views”
Please send them to me at ethnickink(at)gmail.com by Friday 10 am EST. Winner of the most outrageous true story gets a $50 E-Certificate!
Keep going baby! This is YOU! XO #dailymagick #YolandaShoshana
Excellent advice. Period.